I slip in the shower, face to the tiles,
and think,
God I don’t want to be found
dead like this.
After I practice
holding my head up, shoulders back,
as if good posture
can somehow stop the inevitable.
After, pillow in
my lonely arms I
wait for ghostly whispers
but there is only darkness,
and quiet places,
street light illuminating
small spaces here and there.
Those spaces
are small glimmers
in a grand scheme.
I wish I knew
how to tell your story.
I wish you could know the sum
of all
these secrets.
Looking down the hall
is the same as peering
down a deep dark grave.
Simple truth is
we continue to bury those we love
unless we go first.
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