snow like petals blown
by that one giant whoo-sh –
scattered the dandelion
when we lived in fields,
made wishes instead
of analyzing frozen precip
in harsh city streetlights.
Category Archives: growing older
fountain of youth only lasts so long
i carefully rearrange the flowers
after cleaning the water from a milky green
to a crystal clear complexion
i pat those violet ones, yellow ones,
whisper to them –
you’re still young, strong,
you still know how to work a room,
hold out for just one more day
drink up that new water,
be reborn.
visitor hours (just another body in the hall)
Rosie the bird gives
a shrill whistled dare
as I creak up the steps.
The old sit littered
in every hallway, every landing,
they sit and stare, even
my grandfather’s eyes
betray him.
I’ve had enough of the bird
who calls my bluff,
his bloodshot blue eyes
try only so hard —
realize they’re tired and
admit: “I’m just
another body in the hall.”
verisimilitude (time to put away)
it is time
to put away
the ache.
time to
make him dinner
and care about things
we women must —
it is time to
smile from somewhere
far away,
to carry the child
and leave not a hair
settled out of place.
i refuse to cut my hair
i refuse
to cut my hair
like Crosby Stills & Nash
i refuse
to bend and twist and
let the scissors close
leave it be-
this tangled nest, a waving
mass curled up by the sea
it is a
culmination of days,
of a lost youth splitting ends
like an old tin can (peek inside)
take a knife
sharpened good
slice my head
and pull back
like an old tin can
of Campbells
creamy mushroom
that made the casseroles
of tuna and cheese
remember eating it
in straightback
wooden chairs
in a kitchen of panels
and country style.
regrets are like evergreens
outside he blames
cold snowy weather
clinging to evergreens,
white fingers so close,
those white hands
struggling to find a way,
gentle soft falling down
to rest on frozen ground
outside he waits
waits till seasons change
yet evergreens persist
they make him angry
those ghost white hands,
pine needles, red bleeding,
spring leading summer
but evergreens remember
he walks
wishes time away
his beard grows long
he sings by heart the song
of pines rustling in the wind
outside he sits
buttoned for another
a long hibernation
like a gnarled old bear
his New Year knows all
none can change this
only steadfast everygreens–
they never let him sleep.
[author note: circa the “degas ‘three dancers’ journal 2003” – an admitted total break from my usual style]
blowing out birthday candles
extinguished.
the air in your lungs – exhaled –
it makes a quick turn
spirals and vanishes
light becomes dark
young becomes old
the smell of ash and earth
and carbon beginnings
gone to the ceiling
in a birthday wish sparking
through grey wrinkles.
crabcakes with the living
i laid my twin sister
of 87 years
to rest
in a humid mausoleum
fans churning stale air
stirring my white hair
slightly
the pastor speaking:
twins have a special bond
and
the Lord is with you.
i feel her
squeeze my hand and
no one notices.
Oh Marie! Oh Marie…
i watch the coffin blessed,
say goodbye to my husband,
(also waiting)
and leave
to go eat crabcakes
with the living.
going home for dinner
my father
has disappeared to wash
our cars that haven’t been
scrubbed since the
last visit.
my mother in the kitchen
is looking for the
big fat cat
who is no longer around.
(i’m wishing i was still
small enough to fit in
the swings)